thanksKilling!

yes... this is a thanksgiving-themed horror movie.

yes... the antagonist is a homicidal turkey that speaks (in a freddie krueger meets chuckie manner)

and yes... this movie is terrible.

the scene opens on an areola.  as the camera pans out, we see a 17th century pilgrim woman running through the forest topless.  suddenly, she trips over a rock and a turkey sneaks up behind her, exclaiming "nice tits, bitch" as he slices her with an axe.  why is the pilgrim topless?  why is this turkey so crass?  and how is this turkey capable of swinging an axe?  i assumed this turkey would shred people with its razor-sharp beak.  that's remotely believable, right?  but nope... an axe is the weapon of choice.  huh (shrug).

well about 15 minutes into this 66 minute masterpiece, i learn that an indian put a curse on white people and necromanced a turkey to haunt the people of Crawford.  unfortunately, a group of college students are on their way home for Thanksgiving when their car breaks down and they decide to get drunk instead.  and they just so happen to be in Crawford.

everyone survives the night and a few of them start to believe the legend of the killer turkey... yada yada yada... the car is miraculously fixed and they head home... yada yada yada... the turkey, being the cunning foul that he is, hitchhikes his way into a car and when the driver tries to get a little tail (as payment for the ride), the turkey shoots him with a shotgun and makes his way to their hometown.

at one point, the turkey has sex with one of the girls (with an extra small gravy-flavored condom) before killing her.  i can't believe what i'm seeing.

this is a b-horror movie at its finest... which is really not all that fine actually.  i was slightly entertained by the ridiculousness though.  and the fact that it was only an hour long was its saving grace.

i think i'll go make a sandwich or something...