dead alive (1992)

a few summers ago, i went on a bit of a horror movie free-for-all while living at my parent’s house.  i became a regular at the blockbuster down the street and yes... sadly, i actually developed a relationship with the employees.  blockbuster employees crack me up; movie-dorks of all shapes and sizes.  sure as shit though, there’s always at least one that knows everything there is to know about horror flicks.  slashers, zombies, horror comedy, black arts... you name it, they’ve seen it.  that’s not to say that their opinion means anything (or my opinion for that matter) but it’s nice to have some direction when you’re dealing with such a ridiculous genre.  well the one movie that he would talk frequently about was ‘dead alive’.  they didn’t have it on the shelf but he assured me, if i ever get the chance, i should see this movie.  well today, i’m scrolling through the OnDemand movies and what do i see...

alright, pat... a promise is a promise.

‘dead alive’ is a peter jackson film... but from a time before peter jackson was a household name.  i know he went on to produce some acclaimed films like ‘lord of the rings’ and ‘district 9’, but we really can’t let our opinion of the man’s career factor into our review of his early work.  that being said... this movie is extremely cheesy... but a very entertaining cheese at that.  like fondu!

some crazy “rat monkey” is captured in some crazy country and brought to an american zoo (despite the fact that it’s bite is known to have hazardous consequences).  a woman is bit by the monkey while visiting the zoo and her health quickly starts to deteriorate.  and i mean this very literally.  her ear falls off into her pudding... which she then eats.  bloody-pus periodically bubbles out of her wound.  she eats a dog whole and when the son pulls the dog’s pelt out of his mother’s throat, his girlfriend exclaims... ‘your mother ate my dog’ (to which he comically responds ‘not all of it’ while holding the pelt in his hands).  ok... it’s becoming increasingly clear that this movie is supposed to be funny.  good... that’ll make it much easier to laugh when a priest beats the shit out of some zombies and says ‘i kick ass for the lord’.  that was rich!

all in all... some archaic special effects, some gnarly 80's gore, some zombie sex (coulda done without that actually), some hilarious b-movie-esque writing... oh yes, and some punches to the face of a zombie baby makes this movie worth watching for a laugh but it certainly won’t scare you.  

the funny thing is... i kinda walked into this thinking it was actually a scary flick.  boy, is my face red!